


Workplace Benefits

by Feeshies



Category: Metalocalypse (Cartoon)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Bodyguard Romance, Bodyguard!Melmord, Cell Phones, Creampie, Cunnilingus, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Infidelity, Limousine Sex, Oral Sex, PR Scandals, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Pop Star!Amber, Porn with Feelings, Possibly Unrequited Love, Semi-Public Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:42:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29378691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feeshies/pseuds/Feeshies
Summary: Amber is a pop star, Melmord is her bodyguard.They bang in the back of a limo.
Relationships: Melmord Fjordslorn/Amber
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	Workplace Benefits

Melmord didn’t expect to get hired on as the bodyguard for a pop sensation. Then again, if Melmord were to list out all of the unexpected turns in his life, this would be one of the better ones.

When he was first hired on, Melmord was told that publications didn’t like the way he would smile and wave to the fans along with Amber. His job was to look intimidating if the need arose, but otherwise he would have to be invisible - just one of Amber’s numerous accessories that came with her fame. It took months of practicing in front of the mirror to perfect his “stoic bodyguard” face. Melmord was able to be serious, but there was something about being told not to laugh or smile that suddenly made it feel impossible. Not to mention, watching Amber interact with her fans was infectious as well. Seeing such an aloof woman suddenly come to life when faced with her adoring fans, who wouldn’t be able to smile at that?

The moment the limo door shut behind them and the sounds of the crowd grew distant and muffled, Amber pulled out her phone. She leaned against the leather seat and kicked off her silver platform heels. With just the two of them in the back of the limo and the privacy divider separating them from the driver, it didn’t take long for a silence to form between them. Melmord was used to this. He was pretty sure he didn’t hear her speak a single word during the first three months he worked for her. But that only made the fourth month that much more special.

“Anything interesting?”

Amber shrugged,

“Just checking Twitter.”

Melmord scooted closer to her,

“Right after a show?”

“Of course. I have to see what the perception is.”

Amber continued scrolling even as Melmord rested his head against the back of the seat so he could look over her shoulder. Each swipe of her thumb showed more of an endless stream of fancams, photo edits, and tweets pushing the character count to the limit with the number of emojis used.

At one point, Amber laughed, a delightfully warm sound that most people weren’t lucky enough to hear in person.

“Looks like you’re quite popular, Mel.”

Melmord felt his body go cold.

“Uh, what?”

Amber held her phone closer to his face so he could see. The tweet she landed on was a recent photo of Melmord leading Amber to the limo with the caption “hey #amber where do you hire ur butlers bc this man is a snack”, followed by a series of flame and tongue emojis.

His feeling of relief caused him to let out a shaky laugh.

“Butler?”

“Does that bother you?”

“Nah,” Melmord shook his head. “If someone tries to start shit with you, they won’t expect the butler to fuck them up.”

“Mmm,” Amber hummed happily. “My knight in shining armor.”

So far, Melmord only had to protect Amber from obnoxious paparazzi, scam artists, and overly enthusiastic fans who were way too forward with their hugs, but he decided to accept the praise.

“Oh wow, there’s more.”

She kept swiping through her phone, and more posts about Amber’s mysterious butler/bodyguard/assistant/lover kept popping up.

“Huh,” Melmord had to laugh at the absurdity. When he was a younger man trying to start his pop-punk band out of his garage, he would have killed for this kind of frequent exposure. Now he was seeing hundreds of people posting pictures of his face and fawning over him, and the only thought that crossed his mind was “oh, rad”.

“It looks like I’ll have to learn to share you with the world,” Amber mused, offering him a sly smile.

Melmord chuckled,

“It’s easy once you get used to it. I had to learn the same thing with you.”

Amber hummed again, a few scattered notes from her most recent single, then swung her smooth legs over his lap.

“Mel?”

“Yes, ma’am?”

“People can’t see through these windows, right?”

“Oh yeah. They’re tinted for privacy.”

“Good.” Amber winked and pulled down one of the cups of her low cut black dress, exposing her left breast.

Melmord barely had time to react before Amber covered herself up again, dissolving into a burst of playful giggling.

“What did I do to earn that?”

“Just for being so good to me,” She smiled and moved her legs in his lap in a way that  _ had _ to be deliberate. “It’s just the two of us in here now. You don’t have to share me with anyone else.”

Melmord’s breath caught in his throat as he ran his hand along her toned calf and he felt the same level of nervousness he experienced during their first night together. It was in a hotel room during one of Amber’s international tours. Melmord couldn’t remember the country, but he remembered everything else. But mostly, he remembered having the constant thought of “oh, this probably isn’t a good idea”.

It got easier after that. Hotel rooms, guest houses, Amber’s estate whenever Seth was out of town.

But never the backseat of a limo.

“Sure you don’t want to wait ‘til we get back?”

Amber shook her head and climbed into Melmord’s lap, straddling his hips.

“I don’t think you want to wait either,” Her lips buzzed against his ears as she ground down against his clothed erection.

“Oh shit,” Melmord’s voice escaped in a gasp. “Fuck it.”

He grabbed the back of her head and pulled her into a rough kiss. Every time he kissed her, he wondered how he resisted the urge to do it all the time. The way her soft lips molded against his, the little sounds she would make as he would hold her closer, the curious touch of her fingers reaching up to feel his stubble.

Amber pulled back too soon, but the view made it all worth it. Her face was flushed and she was panting. Her thick dark hair, which had been meticulously styled by multiple hairdressers, was messy from Melmord’s hands. Her matte lipstick was smeared and faded across her full lips.

She smiled and ran a finger across his own lips.

“Dusky pink is a good color on you.”

Melmord laughed and took her hand in his so he could kiss along her fingers.

“Remind me to wipe it off before we get out.”

“You sure?” Amber asked breathily, as she began toying with the buttons of his shirt. “Just think of what the rumors could do for your popularity.”

_ Homewrecker Bodyguard _ didn’t exactly have a good ring to it, but he’d seen worse headlines about himself.

“Let’s just, keep this inside the limo.”

“Yes, sir.” Amber ripped his shirt open and ran her manicured fingers down his scarred torso.

Melmord always appreciated how Amber didn’t spend too much time taking in his many scars and stitches. They didn’t hurt anymore, well, not emotionally. There were still some residual phantom pains from time to time. But they weren’t exactly something he wanted people to focus on. Amber wouldn’t avoid touching them, but she also wouldn’t linger around them. She always seemed more occupied with appreciating his muscled torso. Amber never asked about them either. Even though there was no way she actually bought his explanation of “fencing mishap”, she never tried to dig the truth out of him. It was a welcomed attitude and it helped to keep their “relationship” focused. He was her bodyguard, and sometimes they would fuck. It didn’t have to be deeper than that.

Which was fine. The situation was complicated enough without feelings getting involved.

Although, the angelic sigh she let out when he pressed his lips to her neck caused his heart to ache in a terrifyingly familiar way. Especially the way her sigh melted into little whimpers when he alternated between his lips and his teeth. He was careful not to leave any marks, of course. He didn’t want Seth taking credit for his handiwork.

Oh, and the scandal. Of course.

Amber wiggled away from him far enough so she could shimmy out of her dress. There were many difficult things about Melmord’s job. One of them was that Amber loved being topless and hated wearing bras. The fact that the paparazzi hadn’t snagged a topless photo of her was a PR miracle. Her publicity team hated this. They saw Amber as being a more wholesome, universal alternative coming out of Dethklok’s affiliations. She was fun, but not  _ too  _ fun. Her music could be played at the clubs, or at a junior high formal dance. Everyone on her team was adamant about continuing to strike this tricky balance.

Melmord swore, he spent less of his time on the clock protecting Amber from danger, and more time trying to cover her up when she would randomly decide to go tits-out on what she “thought” was a topless beach.

_ “If I didn’t know better,”  _ she would say.  _ “I’d say you’re jealous.” _

And he would laugh and respond,  _ “I’m saving my own ass just as much as yours. You don’t want to piss off managerial types - trust me.” _

So needless to say, the powers that be would probably not approve of Amber grinding half-naked on her bodyguard’s lap in the back of a limo.

Melmord trailed his lips down her sternum, enveloped by the intoxicating scent of her perfume. Not her brand, of course. She wore her own fragrance during one of their earlier, uh, trysts, and it made Melmord’s skin break out. After that, Amber was careful to choose a different brand of perfume if the occasion demanded it. She mostly wore her own brand whenever Seth would be around, to help them avoid the temptation of any risky hookups.

It did thrill Melmord to imagine the current scent choice being a deliberate decision on Amber’s part. How long had she planned this? When she was on that stage, surrounded by adoring fans, how often did his name cross her mind?

Melmord was pulled out of his thoughts when Amber grabbed him by the hair and yanked him back up and captured his mouth in a rough kiss. She sighed openly against his lips when his hands found her breasts.

“How often do you think of me?” She whispered, her lips still brushing against his.

“Constantly,” His laugh was broken up by his heavy breathing. “It’s my job, ma’am.”

Her lips turned upwards into a cattish smile, clearly satisfied with his answer.

“Good.” 

She pushed him down against the seat, causing Melmord to yelp in a way that was probably embarrassing, but he was too preoccupied to notice. All he could focus on was the view of Amber looking down at him, her dark hair falling over his face like a curtain that shielded him from everything in the world that wasn’t her. Melmord couldn’t believe that he was able to touch her. Her fame, the nature of his job, it was like everything in the world was telling him that Amber was this sacred being that existed above everyone else. Anyone else who tried to touch Amber would find themselves slammed against the asphalt with a taser to their throat. But Melmord could run his hands along her thighs, which were still tense from the rigorous dancing earlier, and this was okay.

Well, not  _ okay _ . Again: infidelity scandal. But Amber was okay with this, which, according to Melmord’s job description, was the only thing that really mattered.

He continued trailing his hands across her thighs, moving backwards so he could grip her ass. She laughed, grinding against him as he felt her through her thin undergarments.

“It’s always the ass with you.” She leaned forward so her breasts were almost smothering his face. “You should give my tits more attention. I’ve spent good money on them.”

“I give your tits plenty of attention,” He smirked, kissing her breasts. “After working for you, I’m more familiar with them than my own.”

Amber laughed again,

“That’s a shame, ‘cause you got great tits too.”

She punctured her words with a sharp pinch to his nipple, which caused him to gasp and buck slightly under her. It was reassuring to know he didn’t lose all feeling in his torso. If he lost his ability to partake in nipple play, he would have preferred it if that train just killed him for good.

Melmord wanted to return the favor, but then Amber was sliding down his body, trailing her lips down his frame, until she repositioned herself on the floor of the limo.

“Ma’am?”

“You’ve been extra good to me lately,” She palmed the front of his slacks and playfully nipped at his sharp hip bone. “I think that deserves a little award, don’t you?”

Melmord didn’t trust himself to not say anything embarrassing. The first few times he got with Amber, it took a lot of willpower on his part to stop going in for a fistbump afterwards. So he just nodded and propped himself up on his elbows so he wouldn’t lose sight of her.

Amber ducked down and for a moment Melmord could only see her manicured hands tugging at his fly before roughly pulling his pants down around his thighs. He was already half-hard and twitching under Amber’s first gentle touches. She ran the pad of her finger (careful to avoid the nail), up the length of his shaft, playing with the underside of the head.

His breath caught in his throat and he craned his neck so he could glance out the window.

“You know,” he said, his voice trembling slightly. “We can’t be too far away from the estate now.”

Amber leaned down and placed a tender kiss against the tip of his cock.

“Are you rushing me?”

“Uh, no, ma’am.”

“Good.” Then she lowered her head.

Any response died in Melmord’s chest as he could only focus on the sudden heat that engulfed him. It was impressive how quickly Amber learned him. She knew the exact way to move her tongue, the exact spots to focus on that had Melmord writhing beneath her.

Amber breathed in deeply through her nose, then moved further down until her nose was pressed flat against his pubic bone.

Melmord shuddered as he felt his cock prod against the back of her throat.

“Your vocal coach won’t like this.”

Amber tried to laugh, but it sounded more like a series of choking sounds, and she pulled back with a deep exhale.

“You’ll cause more damage to my vocal cords if you keep making me laugh like that.”

Melmord shrugged,

“I’m just funny. Can’t help it.”

“Well, Mr. Comedian.” Amber shook his dick around in her hand and giggled. “I have the microphone tonight. So, if you don’t mind...”

“Sorry,” Melmord chuckled weakly. “Didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

Amber hummed, then her mouth was back around his cock.

Melmord allowed himself to bask in the sensations as he tangled his fingers through her hair. That dusky pink lipstick that was once applied professionally to her lips was now smeared in faded streaks across his shaft. The sight of that alone could have been enough to make him come right there, but he managed to hold himself back. Focusing on her wedding ring seemed to do the trick.

Holding his cock in her mouth, Amber reached up for one of the seats and grabbed her phone. Melmord watched in simultaneous amazement and confusion as she began scrolling, while continuing to work her lips across him without skipping a beat.

“Are you checking your phone?”

Amber pulled back with a pop and allowed his spit-slick cock to rest against her face.

“Checking Twitter.

“Uh...right now?”

“I can multitask.” She ran her tongue lazily across the head of his dick as she kept swiping through posts. “Besides, I really like seeing people talk about how hot you are while I’m sucking you off.”

Melmord laughed,

“Really? People are still on about that?”

“Of course! Almost all of the posts in my tag are people hornyposting about you.” She smiled lazily and brushed her long nails against his scarred stomach. “Makes me feel like a lucky girl.”

Melmord’s breath caught in his throat,

“If you asked me, I’d think  _ I  _ was the lucky one.”

“Yeah, well, we both knew that.” She gave the underside of his shaft one last kiss then sat back up so she was sitting across from Melmord. “But if you’re so insistent that I pay you full attention, you know what to do.”

She reclined back, and propped one of her legs up.

Melmord kicked his slacks the rest of the way off and climbed over her, pulling her into an intense kiss. Her body trembled as he ghosted his fingers along the silky skin of her inner thigh, inching closer to the front of her lacy undergarments, but never close enough to make any physical contact. Not until Amber got tired of his teasing and gripped his wrist, pressing his hand against her. She was already soaking through the thin cloth and Melmord wondered how long she’d been like that. The thought alone was driving him crazy.

Amber whimpered against his lips as she began grinding against his hand. Melmord broke the kiss and pressed his lips against her jaw.

“If you stay still, I can get these off you.”

Amber shuddered, but the movement of her hips stilled just long enough to roll that last piece of cloth down her legs.

She held out her hand before Melmord could toss away along with the rest of their clothes.

“Don’t throw them on the ground. It’s not hygienic.”

“Oh.” Melmord stared at the pink lacy undergarments in his hand. “Where should I put them?”

“Just leave them on the seat.” She paused. “Unless you want them.”

“Hmm,” Melmord turned them around in his hands. “Not really my style.”

“Not to wear, just-” She sighed, and reclined her head back. “Whatever. Just put them away and fuck me already.”

Melmord smirked, and placed them down on the seat behind him.

“Yes, ma’am.”

He would never grow tired of seeing her blush whenever he said that. As his gentle touches returned to her inner thigh, Melmord buried his face into her shoulder, kissing the side of her neck and savoring the way her pulse pounded as his fingers got closer. When he finally touched her, she was so wet that his fingers glided against her. She shuddered and bucked her hips, chasing the feeling of Melmord’s fingers brushing against her sensitive clit.

The sight of her as he worked his fingers in and out of her was utterly breathtaking. Her eyes were screwed shut, her acrylic nails testing the durability of the leather seat as she raked them across it. Melmord pushed some strands of hair off of her sweaty forehead so he could kiss her there.

Amber was apparently not patient enough for any tenderness as she reached down and gripped Melmord’s cock and positioned him against her entrance.

“What?” She pursed her lips at him. “You were the one who was worrying about us not having enough time.”

Wasn’t like Melmord was going to complain. He let his body lie flat against hers as he pushed forward until he was fully enveloped by her slick heat. Amber’s breath escaped in a high pitched sigh and she wrapped her arms around his torso, her nails digging into his already-scarred back.

He reached down to grip her thigh and pulled it over his hip as he settled into a rhythm. No matter how many times it happened, Melmord was always at least a little surprised when the sex actually happened. Melmord would always have chosen to be with her, but the surprise came from knowing that, time and again, Amber chose him too.

Amber’s head bonked against the back of the seat after a particularly rough thrust.

“Ow.”

“Sorry!” Melmord stopped moving, but he felt relief when he saw Amber let out a little laugh.

“You’re fine. Maybe not the most convenient of locations.”

“Yeah,” Melmord stared down at his cock, which was still slick and halfway inside of her. “Do you want me to stop?”

“Mel, if you stop, I’ll actually fire you.”

Melmord grinned and kissed her on the lips.

“Well, now that you brought my job security into it…”

It didn’t take long for Melmord to slip back into his previous rhythm, while still being careful not to move Amber around too much. Her thighs were clenched tightly around him, her dark hair strewn over the leather seating. Her half-lidded dark eyes staring up at him was the most incredible sight Melmord had ever seen. And he’d seen The Red Hot Chili Peppers in concert. Twice.

When he looked up for a moment, he saw the streets of Sydney zooming past them through the window. Oh right, they were technically in public. No, they  _ were _ in public. Through the privacy windows, no one outside of the limousine could ever know what was happening inside. Shit, that was kind of hot. Melmord didn’t really get the public sex craze before, but this…

Probably shouldn’t make a habit out of it. Again, job security.

Melmord only spent a few seconds staring out the window before his attention returned to Amber. Her tan skin gleaming with sweat, her face flushed and panting, her full breasts bouncing with each rigorous thrust. He pressed his face back against the crook of her neck, kissing and nipping at the skin. The way her body moved against his drove him absolutely crazy. The little sounds she would make didn’t help either.

“Oh  _ fuck! _ ” Her body jumped against his. “Just like that.”

Amber reached up to tangle her fingers through his hair and pulled him up into a rough kiss. Melmord could feel every moan and whimper vibrate against his lips as he kissed her deeper. When he pulled back, she stared up at him with those deep dark brown eyes and,  _ oh fuck _ , he was going to come.

Melmord pressed his face against her clavicle and tightened his grip on her thigh as he gave a last series of labored thrusts into her, grunting at the effort. As he came, he found himself practically clinging to Amber, as if he wanted to be utterly consumed by her presence. This gorgeous, forbidden woman who Melmord was contractually obligated to lay down his life for. And, of course, he’d be happy to do it.

It took awhile for Melmord to catch his breath. Honestly, he would have been content with holding onto her until they reached their destination. But he knew that wouldn’t be the wisest career move. So he reluctantly sat up, and slipped his softening cock out of her.

Amber stared up at him, one of her arms propped up behind her head and her legs still trembling.

He leaned forward to kiss her knee.

“Did you-”

“No.” Amber placed her foot on his shoulder, and pushed him down to the floor of the limo so he was kneeling before her.

Melmord kissed and nipped along her inner thigh as he waited for Amber to get situated above him. The moment she was sitting upright, she grabbed the back of his head and practically shoved his face against her. Melmord let out a little squeak in surprise before immediately getting to work. 

He started out by gently caressing her outer lips and clit with his tongue, but the noises and movements coming from Amber made it obvious that she wasn’t going to be content with being teased for much longer. After a sudden light amount of suction against her clit, Melmord heard Amber squeal and claw her hand deeper into his tangled hair. 

Melmord closed his eyes and allowed himself to only focus on the immediate sensations. The taste of Amber mixed with his own semen was not as gross as it sounded. If anything, it thrilled him even more. He loved pleasing her. He loved the sounds she would make, the little shakes and quivers of her body, the way she praised him. It had to be from the whole bodyguard thing. His job description literally required him to be “ride or die” for Amber, but with them, “ride” had two simultaneous meanings.

He laughed a bit against her clit and Amber looked down at him strangely.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He had to bite his lip (not hers, thankfully) to keep the further chuckling contained. “Just thought of a joke. I’ll tell you later.”

“I can’t wait.”

It didn’t take long for Melmord to return to his duties. He reached up to grip Amber’s ass, pulling her closer to his face so he could eat her out deeper. In response, Amber locked her thighs around his head, crossing her ankles over his shoulder blades.

It was hard to breathe, but Melmord didn’t mind. There were worse ways to die.

At one point, Melmord looked up to see Amber holding her phone. This wasn’t unusual, it wasn’t like he hadn’t eaten her pussy while she checked her DMs, but she was holding it horizontally.

Melmord pulled back slightly, her legs releasing their grip so they could rest on his shoulders.

“Did you just take a picture?”

Amber turned the phone screen towards him, and sure enough there was a photo that clearly showed Melmord ducked between her legs as he ate her out.

“You just looked so pretty down there.” She smiled and toyed with his hair. “I wanted to have it for posterity.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

Amber shrugged.

“Why not? I’ve been taking pictures this whole time?”

To prove her point, Amber swiped through the recent photos on her phone. They were all selfies. One of her face while they were fucking, another of her holding Melmord’s dick, one that was just her topless. When had she taken these? And how did Melmord not notice?

“Aren’t you worried about these getting out?”

Amber rolled her eyes,

“That’s what I have a PR team for.”

“Yeah, uh, I don’t think they’d be thrilled about this either.”

Amber groaned,

“Ugh, you’re killing the mood.” She squished his face back against her. “Why don’t you use that mouth for something productive?”

Continuing wasn’t the responsible thing to do, but it was the Melmord thing to do. So Melmord continued. The moment he could feel Amber approaching her orgasm, all of his previous worries melted away as he stopped thinking about anything that wasn’t the beautiful woman in front of him. He didn’t think about how they were currently in a moving vehicle, or how he was kneeling on the floor of said vehicle, or how this whole thing was definitely an HR issue, or how she was married with a child, or-

Shit, he was thinking about it.

Melmord sped up his movements, both to help Amber chase her climax but also to distract himself from his own thoughts. With each high-pitched gasp or moan that escaped her lips, the thoughts circling through his head temporarily died down.

With one last squeal, she bucked her hips against his working lips, the hand in his hair keeping his head firmly in place. She jolted again, and again, until she released her grip and sagged back against the seat.

Melmord sat down next to her, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“You wanna hear that joke I thought of?”

Amber playfully swatted his bare thigh.

“Give me a minute.” She closed her eyes and leaned against him.

The sight of Amber looking so obviously relaxed and satisfied as she clung to his side was just as good as the sex. Shit, was that sappy? Those hacks at Hallmark would regret firing him if they heard that.

Melmord sat back, savoring the quiet, intimate moment between them. Not that they didn’t have a lot of quiet, intimate moments, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t savor them,

“We should probably get dressed.”

No response.

Melmord looked down to see Amber leaning against his chest, her eyes closed and her breath rising and falling in a gentle rhythm.

He glanced out the window, which was now slightly fogged over. The streets were still moving past them, but he could recognize from a few of the landmarks that they still had  _ some _ time left.

Melmord sighed and brushed his fingers through her hair, pushing it out of her face.

“The joke was ‘ride or die’. Because I’m your bodyguard, but also we have sex? So ‘ride’ has, like, a double meaning.”

No response.

Melmord shrugged. He played for worse crowds.


End file.
